Spiritual Direction: Being in the room where it happens
By Steve Givens, spiritual director and CLC advisory board member
“The Room Where it Happens,” one of the most memorable songs in the hit musical “Hamilton,” is actually about Aaron Burr NOT being in the room when the infamous “dinner table bargain” that created the Compromise of 1790 was made between Thomas Jefferson, James Madison and Alexander Hamilton. In the song, Burr sings:
No one really knows how the game is played
The art of the trade
How the sausage gets made
We just assume that it happens.
We all want to be in the room when something big happens. We all want to be aware, to be present, to be part of the conversation and not be on the outside looking in.
In many ways, the ancient ministry and practice of spiritual direction is about being in just such a room. Spiritual direction is about sacred conversation that becomes prayer. It is the sharing of your faith, life, struggles and desires for God with another person. If you are seeking a closer relationship with God and a clearer path for your life in accordance with God’s will, meeting with a spiritual director on a regular basis can be a deeply meaningful and effective way to move forward in your faith.
By the simplest of definitions, spiritual direction within the Christian tradition is the act of one Christian helping another along in their spiritual journey by “sacred listening,” that is, by listening with the heart to one person’s story and helping them reflect on it and see how God is moving and acting in their life. It is an act of contemplative prayer for two people who meet together regularly, with one person taking the more active role of listening and questioning.
Here are a few points to consider if you are interested in pursuing the experience of spiritual direction:
- Don’t be misled by the term “spiritual director,” for spiritual directors do not direct your spiritual journey. Only the Holy Spirit can do that. But they will accompany you, listen to you, and be a trusted companion as you seek to make your way toward a more mature relationship with God.
- In spiritual direction, we believe there are always three persons present when we meet in that room, with God occupying the third and unseen chair. The director’s role is to pay close attention to what resonates in him or her as you speak, for that can be the movement and nudging of God.
- Directors will try to help you describe and understand these movements of God on a deeper level, guiding you through questions toward a mature, more intimate understanding of God.
- They will encourage your growing awareness of the presence and movement of God in all aspects of your life, for all the facets and parts of your life show signs of God’s presence and are therefore “grist for the mill” of your time together.
- Spiritual directors believe that your story is sacred, so they will listen far more than they will talk, gently pushing you to dig deeper, explore further, describe more fully and remember with more detail your experiences of God.
- Directors should seek to create a space that reflects the importance of this sacred conversation and time. They promise to ensure the confidentiality of everything discussed and even the very fact that you meet with them.
- They can guide you to discern for yourself what your story and your desires mean and what is God’s purpose for you and your life. They will help you explore what things in your life are “of God” or “not of God,” but they will never tell you what they think the answers are, for this is your gift to discover. Your experiences of God will never be the same as theirs.
Like most good things in life, growing in faith and awareness of God’s plan takes time. There are generally no easy or quick answers. There is only, as Pierre Teilhard de Chardin once wrote, the “slow work of God” in our lives.
Spiritual direction is one way of staying in touch with that slow work, of being in a room where you can begin to sense something happening, some inner nudge from God that beckons you to draw closer and follow.
If you would like assistance in finding a spiritual director, fill out this form and someone from the CLC will be in touch with you soon to help you find a good match.